Navigating the Bends
“The river is constantly turning and bending and you never know where it’s going to go and where you’ll wind up. Following the bend in the river and staying on your own path means that you are on the right track. Don’t let anyone deter you from that.”
If you see your life’s journey as a river, what does your river look like?
Is it like a tranquil stream, peaceful and flowing smoothly, enriching the plants and animals on its banks? Does it look more like the rapids, ranging on powerfully and breaking through everything in its path with great force? Does your river meander, one that winds back and forth, rather than following a straight course? Is the flow of your river blocked with too many structures built on it to slow down its natural flow?
As I reflect on these questions, I realised that my own river has gone through all these stages at various phases of my life. It is currently in the phase where the flow of my river is blocked and restricted and there are bends to navigate in order for my river to flow smoothly again. I believe many of you are experiencing this phase right now due to the restrictions imposed on us during this season of the Covid-19 pandemic.
As a family, we are navigating the new school schedules and adapting to new ways of learning amidst requirements to conduct ourselves differently. My elder daughter is back at school this week and is adjusting to the various restrictions imposed on her for her own good such as putting on face masks or face shields and physical distancing. My other two children are still at home this week due to their timetables and learning virtually through the various online platforms. This is the “new normal” for them for the coming weeks, if not, months.
As for me, I will not be able to do in-person coaching and workshops even after the easing of our government’s restrictions on physical movements and interactions to avoid the second wave of the spread of this illusive virus. There are days when I feel frustrated and even trapped in my current circumstances. When I feel this way, it drains a lot of my energy and I start doubting my own capabilities. I have concerns about growing my business and my well thought up plans pre Covid-19 appear to be shelved indefinitely.
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
How do I stay on my path despite my feelings of doubt and insecurity? I remind myself that it is normal to feel these emotions and not be hard on myself to “fix” my own emotions. Emotions are meant to be felt but they do not form my reality. They may cloud my view of my circumstances but these emotions are fleeting in themselves. It is easy to dwell on them and let them occupy our minds all the time.
We require discipline and focus to stay on our respective paths despite the foggy circumstances. As long as we are crystal clear on our goals and aspirations, we will eventually achieve them. The roads we take to get there may be longer, winding, bumpy, filled with potholes and we may have to take U-turns and rethink our routes. I strongly believe that I will reach my destination because I clearly know what I want and more importantly, the “why” of my aspirations. My “why” goes beyond my own personal needs and satisfaction. My “why” is that through coaching, I will be able to help and support many individuals to discover their “whys” as well and to live their lives fully to positively impact the lives of their family, friends and the communities they live and work in. This is how I stay focus on my path when my feelings attempt to distract me.
The famous author, Simon Sinek, poses the question on the importance of knowing your “why” in his book, Start With Why, “Very few people or companies can clearly articulate WHY they do WHAT they do. By WHY I mean your purpose, cause or belief - WHY does your company exist? WHY do you get out of bed every morning? And WHY should anyone care?”
Knowing your “why” will make it easier to figure out your “how” - how do you work towards achieving your goals and pursuits? In organisational terms, how will you operationalise your “why”? Clarity comes when you are very clear on your “why”. Simon Sinek goes on to say that it is not that difficult to figure out your “why” but the main obstacle is to trust your gut and instinct over the outside influences and to stay true to your purpose, cause or belief.
How clear are you on your “why”? Do you have a vivid image of it in your mind that keeps you focused and committed to your path? Are you facing setbacks or struggling with difficulties to stay on course despite knowing your “why”? Are your fears and limiting beliefs holding you back? Are you are doubting your own instincts?
Do you trust yourself?
Let us help you uncover and rediscover your “why” which may be lost and buried due to the busyness in your life and constant demands imposed on you. Contact us to get started today by clicking here!
The Power of Persistence!
I had a recent conversation with my teenage son on his goal to be one of the highest ranking “MVP”s (Most Valued Player) in his favourite online game. He was recounting his efforts in making daily progress and collecting badges and ranking points in this game. He plays the game whenever he can carve out time from his school work and other activities. He gives up sleep, much to my disapproval, just to “grind” the game during weekends. He grins in satisfaction whenever he sees his name moving up in the ranks of global players. There is, of course, the anguish and pain when he encounters a losing streak which then causes him to drop several notches from his desired ranking position. He has even declared numerous times, out of frustration, that he will never play the game again! Does he stop? The answer is no. I believe that he doesn’t quit playing this game despite the agony of countless defeat because he finds meaning and a sense of purpose in it. That’s what keeps him going! I personally don’t see the purpose but who am I to judge? We are all unique individuals. The beauty is that we all find meaning and purpose in something that may be completely nonsensical to everyone else!
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
“A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence.”
Have you felt similar motivation and drive to pursue a goal, an aspiration or a dream just like my son with his online game? How did you keep yourself going despite the hardship, the fatigue, the disappointments and the obstacles? Who were your greatest supporters, your cheerleaders? How did you stay focus to reach the light at the end of the long tunnel? Despite the difficulties and the challenges, would you give up your goal or your dream? I believe you wouldn’t because you find meaning and purpose, even a calling, in your pursuit to make your dream a reality.
Photo by Christiaan Huynen on Unsplash
My journey to be a certified professional coach was exactly that…a journey. There were moments when I felt that I have taken on too much during my training, given my commitments in my work and family. I felt discouraged when the light at the end of the tunnel seemed so far away. There were road blocks, delays and naysayers who made my journey even harder.
How did I stay the course despite the challenges, the long hours and my inner self critic? It’s because I find meaning and purpose in being a professional coach. I believe that it is my calling, that God intended me to use this gift to help people who are looking for their own purpose and meaning in life. The wonderful thing about training as a coach is that you reap the benefits of being coached by your peer coaches. These wonderful coaches have helped me gain clarity and self-awareness to stay motivated and focused towards my goal to complete my professional coach certification and start my coaching business.
What thoughts and feelings come up for you when you read this blog? Are you staying the course towards your goals and dreams? Do you need support and encouragement to persist, to move forward and to keep going towards the light at the end of your tunnel? I would be honoured to be your companion traveller in this exciting journey! Contact me today to find your power of persistence!