Stop Procrastinating
“Procrastination is like a credit card: it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.”
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
My older two children have a tendency to hold off doing their homework and assignments for as long as they can. My son’s rationale is as long as it’s done, there isn’t any issue. My daughter just doesn’t enjoy doing things that she must do first over doing the things she enjoys doing. I can relate to her. If you have read my earlier blog post in April, Push or Pull, you’ll know that I do not enjoy doing laundry but I get it done and reward myself afterwards.
Procrastination is like an ‘invisible force’ that keeps you from doing the very things you know you must do. With the increasing demands on our time and attention, there seems to be an increase in procrastination as a chronic problem, especially amongst those people that want to succeed the most.
Procrastination usually sets in when you feel overwhelmed by all the ‘have to’s’ in life and instead of making steady progress, you take on too much without ever getting any of it done. This makes you feel out of control, that you have lost your power to shape and direct your life. It is true that there are many things over which you have no control, but you always have full control over what really happens to you – and what really happens to you is a mental process independent of the circumstances and events of the outside world. Being empowered means that you realize that you already have the power and this realization also gives you the ability to take action.
The next time you have to deal with procrastination, consider the following statements and see if they help you:
It’s All Inside
Procrastination is an internal process and although it might feel like it is something happening to you, you are actually responsible for it. This view of procrastination can help to put you back in control almost immediately as you now realise that because you are responsible for it, you can change the way you approach procrastination. Procrastination is not an external force, but an internal response and evaluation. The simple realization that it’s ‘you’ doing it to ‘you’, gives you the power to do something about it.
It’s All You
When procrastination drags you down, it is all too easy to think that ‘it just is’ and that you can’t do anything about it. Although it feels like you have no control, you actually do. In fact, this is why you feel out of control – because you believe that you can’t do anything about it. There are two very important beliefs you need to develop to help you break free from procrastination. The first is that you CAN overcome procrastination and the second is that YOU can overcome procrastination. No one else can do it for you and because you created it, you can un-create it.
“A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.”
- Hunter S. Thompson, American journalist
It’s All in Your Head:
The reason why most people remain stuck in patterns of procrastination is because of fear. At the most fundamental level, all forms of procrastination come down to fear. What you don’t face controls you. To overcome the fear and the procrastination that comes with it, you need to confront and do the very things you don’t want to do. The instant you do, you take charge and it no longer has any control over you. The ironic thing is that fear only exists in your imagination – it’s always something that hasn’t happened yet. Procrastination is not real – it’s only the way you evaluate things in your mind. I encourage you to read the late Susan Jeffers’ book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. There are great insights in that book to help you take the steps you need to face your fears. One of which is as long as you are growing or doing something new, there will always be fear. This fear will not go away no matter how long you wait. The more you face your fears, the higher your confidence level will be and you will feel liberated and empowered.
It’s All about Conditioning
Success at anything in life relies on consistency. Those who excel in their achievements are those who are consistent in their thinking and actions. The way you get consistent is through conditioning. Your nervous system operates through conditioning. When you do something over and over again, it becomes ‘normal’ and when it’s normal you don’t have to think about it – it becomes automatic. The challenge is that this principle works both ways. Whether your conditioned responses support you or whether it pulls you down, your nervous system does not make that distinction. If procrastination is your conditioned response, you will always feel out of control, simply because that’s what you’ve ‘learned’ to do automatically. You simply need to ‘recondition’ yourself to a new response; to teach yourself to respond in a different way. That takes awareness and a commitment to learn a new way to respond to your situations.
It’s All about Awareness
Procrastination does serve a purpose - and a very important one as such, but only if you are aware of the benefits. We only procrastinate about those things that have value to us. At some level, either directly or indirectly, you believe that taking action will benefit you. If it didn’t, it would not bother you, right? Be grateful for procrastination and use it as a guide to ‘know’ what you need to act upon. Being aware of this fact, and developing an awareness for what you do and fail to do can empower you to be in charge of yourself on a much higher level.
When you are empowered, you are in charge, and even if things seem to go wrong on the surface, underneath you know that you have the power to deal with it effectively. Procrastination is disempowering and it takes away your ability to take immediate action and deal with any situation. Know what fears hold you back and be empowered to make the choices to face those fears!
If you are struggling with procrastination and facing your fears, schedule a complimentary 30-minutes discovery call with me here to discuss how I can support you as your coach.
““Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Be brave and take risks. Your life is happening right now.””
I’m so excited to let all you know that it’s back - for the second year in a row!!
Introducing the Amplify DEI Summit 2021: Leadership Edition!
With an epic line-up of 70+ international expert speakers sharing their insights, knowledge, and experiences based on years of experience in the field, this summit was created to help you amplify Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in your company.
The summit kicks off on September 27th, and it’s going to be 3 action-packed days that you won’t want to miss.
Click my speaker link here to learn more and get your ticket. Who’s excited?!
Not Enough Time?
“You don’t build the life you want by saving time. You build the life you want, and then time saves itself. Recognizing that is what makes success possible.”
― Laura Vanderkam, American author
Photo by insung yoon on Unsplash
Not enough time? Ask yourself, “What are my priorities?”
In my Purposeful Women of Faith Circle meeting last month, we shared openly and honestly about our struggles with time management. We all wear many hats - boss, employee, wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend … the list goes on. We only have 24 hours each day. How do we find time to fulfil all our obligations, complete the tasks on our to-do lists and carve out “me time” to rest and recharge? Thinking about it even now is exhausting!
Laura Vanderkam, author of I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time, shared a different perspective of looking at time management in her 2016 Ted talk.
(Send me an email if the video link is not working.)
Our focus is always on time itself or in most cases, the lack of it or how quickly it slips by. Laura shared in this Ted talk that our focus should not be on time but on our priorities. What is important for us that we will set aside time for it? In the example she shared, we may not have 7 hours in the week to train for a triathlon but we will carve out 7 hours the same week to fix the broken water heater which had caused flooding in our house. She said, “We cannot make more time, but time will stretch to accommodate what we choose to put into it.”
Her interviewee said, “Listen Laura, everything I do, every minute I spend, is my choice." And rather than say, "I don't have time to do x, y or z," I'd say, "I don't do x, y or z because it's not a priority." "I don't have time," often means "It's not a priority."”
As we discussed this video in our meeting, these were some of the insights shared:
We, as a family, got together towards the year end and made SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-Bound) goals as individuals and as a family so that we have clear focus throughout the rest of this year.
There is a need to be intentional about making time for the priorities in my life. Otherwise, I run the risk of letting things slide due to fatigue and distractions.
I want to make decisions where my “Yes” and “No” will bring me closer to my goals. I want to be intentional in my thinking and making the best use of my time.
When I look at my to-do list, there are items in there that will never be crossed away. I want to take a cold hard look at them and just remove them from the list. They may not happen now in this phase of my life but it doesn’t mean that they will never happen.
How will my usage of my time serve my higher purpose as a person? Do I make myself a priority or do I neglect to care for myself?
“If you seek tranquillity, do less. Or (more accurately) do what’s essential ... and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better. Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?’”
Laura recommended creating a three-category priority list: career, relationships and self. “Making a three-category list reminds us that there should be something in all three categories. Career, we think about; relationships, self -- not so much. But anyway, just a short list, two to three items in each. Then look out over the whole of the next week, and see where you can plan them in.”
Most of us will find planning and thinking about our careers a natural thing to do given all the objectives setting exercises and performance reviews that we have done in our professional lives. However, do we really plan priorities in our career? More often than not, we are just fighting fire and hurriedly meeting deadlines and expectations imposed on us. As for relationships, do we really plan for time to be spent with our loved ones or do they get our “leftover” time? I believe the category that is often forgotten is self. The aeroplane oxygen mask analogy reminds me that we are to put on our oxygen masks first before we help others put on theirs. We will be of no use to anyone if we don’t look after ourselves. It’s instinctive that we rush to take care of others but if we are running on empty physically, mentally and emotionally, we may do more harm than good.
Depending on your planning style and phase in life, you may be thinking of a daily, weekly or monthly list or even a big picture annual plan. Do what will work best for your circumstances. Ponder on these questions as you contemplate your three-category priority list.
What are the “must-haves” for my three-categories of career, relationships and self?
Why are these priorities important to me?
How do I ensure that they happen?
What might get in the way?
If you desire support in working out your priorities to build a life that you want, reach out to me here to find out more about one-to-one coaching or group coaching if you prefer to gain support from like-minded individuals in a safe and non-judgmental space.
“He who every morning plans the transactions of that day and follows that plan carries a thread that will guide him through the labyrinth of the most busy life.”
- Victor Hugo, French poet and novelist