Introverts - Nature or Nurture?
“Extroverts sparkle, introverts glow. If you appreciate your own quiet glow, other people will see it too.”
I’ve been sharing my thoughts on introversion in several podcasts, the latest being my guest appearances on Earrings Off!, Multi-Dimensional IN·tel·li·gence and Success InSight which you can find on my media page. As I have been appearing on more podcasts, all of my 3 children have been telling me lately that I’ve “turned” extroverted! Have I really? The answer is no as after I’ve done a recording, I need a lot of down time by myself to recharge and renew my energy. I do these podcast appearances because I believe my story and encouragement to others that being an introvert doesn’t mean you lose out in life to extroverts. As one of my favourite authors on this topic, Susan Cain, has said, “It’s is a kind of yin and yang where were we learn to value both types equally … I think we need to see more the value of both and really have each work learning to work together well because we actually know from research that the best teams and the best partnerships are a mix of the two.” Being an introvert shouldn’t stop you from collaborating with extroverts because there are always ways to complement each other. Some of my closest friends are extroverts and they embolden me to venture out and do things I would never do on my own!
Given that I’ve been thinking a lot about introversion lately due to my discussions with my children, also starting my new consultancy role and making new connections as well as the podcasts I’ve been appearing on, I was looking for videos done by Susan Cain for insight and inspiration.
I found this old video from 2012 where she was interviewed on Bloomberg Law to promote her book, Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking.
Here are excerpts from the video which will give you a better understanding of introversion:
00:45: You know I wrote it because I wanted to shine a light on a cultural bias that I think we have in the society against introverts and I think that our view of introverts right now is kind of like where we were with women in the early 1950s, early 1960s. Introverts are, believe it or not 50% of the population, so 50% according to the latest study.
01:53: When I was younger, I remember taking the Myers Briggs personality test, like so many of us did and I remember when I did that, I wanted so desperately though to be identified as an extroverted, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out why, and are we somehow conditioned to believe that being an extrovert is the best possible outcome?
02:12: The interesting thing about this particular bias and conditioning is that until recently it's never actually had a name, so it's been a very powerful bias, but also a subtle one because no one actually says to you, you should be more of an extrovert, you know, that doesn't happen that often. And yet most kids from the minute they walk into a preschool classroom when they're two or three or four, they're sent that message in very powerful ways, so not in so many words, but nonetheless powerful, you know, there's just the idea that they get that they should be gregarious, that they should enjoy participating in group activities. They move up through the educational system and so much of our education is now conducted in groups. Even socially there's such a currency that's placed on being vivacious and gregarious. So, kids get the idea really early that that is the ticket to success and they don't so much see other paths.
04:15: The difference between an introvert and extrovert, it has to do with how you respond to stimulation. So, introverts tend to be at their most alive and their most energized when they're in environments that are a little quieter Extroverts really crave stimulation and you know, they feel kind of bored and listless unless they're getting a lot of it coming at them. And what's so important about this is we tend to think of introverts as being anti-social or shy. It's really not that. It's just that they have this preference for socializing also in quieter ways. So, they would much rather usually, you know have a glass of wine with a close friend as opposed to going out to a big party full of strangers because it's a less stimulating way of connecting with people.
06:33: In fact, there's one study that suggests that more than 50% of lawyers are introverts. which to me as a former lawyer is actually not at all surprising really. You have to actually get the work done as a lawyer. There's a lot about legal work that is really conducive to introverts, way of being, you know, you have to be really persistent, you have to be really careful, you have to be thoughtful, you have to sit down and focus and even in negotiations you have to often be kind of more understated and really listening really carefully to what's going on so that you can figure out a way to strategize a deal.
10:06: Is that nature, is it nurture? So, Kagan, he's a guy named Joe Kagan, he's a developmental psychologists at Harvard, one of the great psychologist of the 20th century. He kind of set out to study temperament and when he started was convinced that he was sort of on the nurture side of the debate, right? But he says that he was dragged kicking and screaming by his data to understand the importance of biology and genetics in temperament. It turns out that there are some babies who are born with temperaments that make them more careful, more sensitive and more likely to become introverts later on in life, and these babies, they're more reactive to stimulation. That's why they're called high reactive, and you can see it from the minutes that they're born.
11:24: 70% of highly sensitive people are introverts and then the other 30% are extroverts who still say that they need a lot of downtime. So there does seem to be a big connection and then there's some introverts who become that way, you know through other probably other biological mechanisms and also through nurture, you know this stuff is a little bit murky.
14:02: The biggest, most general thought is to really start to understand your powers and to feel entitled to be who you are. The more you do that, the more you start kind of carving out a career and a social life that actually suit your temperament and you know you kind of learn how to step outside yourself when you need to, but really more or less be living in a place that feels natural for you.
My takeaways from the video are:
Introverts are not better than extroverts and vice versa. It’s about creating awareness and respecting each other’s uniqueness and with that understanding, working together successfully at the work place and in our relationships.
Introverts are not shy people. It’s how they respond to stimulation and I would also put it as where we draw our energy from. I draw my energy from introspection and time by myself whereas an extrovert will draw his/her energy from engaging with other people.
Whether we are introverts by nature or through life experiences (nurture), it doesn’t matter. The main thing is to continue to learn, understand and use your unique strengths.
If you are facing challenges being your authentic introverted self in the workplace or on the personal front, please reach out to me to discover what coaching can do for you.
