Wind Beneath My Wings
“I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.”
- from the song Wind Beneath My Wings sung by Bette Midler
Photo by Zdeněk Macháček on Unsplash
We have just celebrated International Women’s Day on 8 March. I strongly believe that women supporting women and encouraging each other to be authentic and define success in the way that we each see it is powerful. As I was thinking of an appropriate post to write in conjunction of Women’s Day. I was reminded of the song “Wind Beneath My Wings’ sung by Bette Midler. There is a part in the beginning of the song which goes like this:
“So, I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.”
We all have people in our lives who have supported us in our respective journeys but didn’t share in our limelight and glory. Those individuals who preferred to remain behind the scenes of our successes although we know that without them, we would be nothing.
In the spirit of celebrating Women’s Day, think about the women who have provided inspiration and support to you without asking for anything in return. Have you taken the time to tell them how much you appreciate them? If not, I encourage you to do so this month.
For me, that woman is my mother. She is strong and resilient. When she was 17 years old, she stopped her education despite doing well in school because her parents were not able to support her financially. She was the eldest daughter in a family of 11 siblings. She worked as a seamstress and helped raised her younger brothers and sister when my grandmother was not able to due to health issues. She has never shown any resentment in this aspect of her life. She is the most generous person I know. She has never turned down anyone who needed help in terms of her time and resources. She has brought me up to be the woman I am today. I am proud that I inherited her generous trait although I don’t think I can do all the things she does. She cooks hot meals and bake for her church’s breakfast fellowship and that is definitely not within my baking and cooking aptitude!
Photo by Aditya Romansa on Unsplash
“Legacy is not leaving something for people. It’s leaving something in people.”
As we appreciate the people who have inspired us, think about the legacy and impact that you want to leave behind. What do you want people to remember you by as you reach the last days of your time on earth? I shared an exercise to evaluate your legacy in my newsletter of July 2020 (click here). As you reflect on the words to be placed on your tombstone (I know it may sound morbid but the exercise will help you slow down and reflect on how you want to spend the remaining years of your life meaningfully), think about the impression and values that you want to leave in the hearts of the people whom you care about.
For me, I want my children to remember that Mum was always there for them and that Mum loved them unconditionally. I want them to believe in their own potential and capabilities and not be hindered by their limiting beliefs. I want them to remember that it is courageous to feel fear but to go ahead and pursue their dreams in spite of the fears. I want each of them to truly know their purpose, their “WHY” and to use that as a guiding compass in their lives. With that in mind, I do my best daily to live out my WHY. When I asked my youngest daughter earlier this week on what my favourite thing to do is if I had all the time in the world, she replied without hesitation, “Coaching!”. I am encouraged and touched by her response as her candid reply affirmed that I am living an aligned life with my purpose. My children see me living it out, loud and clear!
What do you want your legacy to be?
As for impacting the women in your life, one way to do that is to make and build a network of women who share your ideals and values. I found such an avenue through the LeanIn Circles organised under the umbrella of LeanIn. Visit https://leanin.org/ for more information on how to join a Circle meeting or even start one. I run my own LeanIn Circle called Purposeful Women of Faith and we meet regularly on a monthly basis. The women in my Circle come from different walks of life. However, when we share our stories, we find commonality in our successes and struggles. When we know we’re not alone, when someone else has faced a similar situation, we draw strength from their lessons learnt. When we have something to celebrate and can do it openly and honestly in a group of women who do not judge or compare, we are able to really enjoy that success. We feel safe. We feel appreciated. We feel understood.
For the entire month of March, I’ll be hosting open meetings for women to come together to:
Make new connections and widen their network;
Share a celebration story for the purpose of encouraging other women;
Find support in a situation where you feel you are alone in.
These 45-minutes sessions will be held on Tuesday nights and Friday lunch time (all in Singapore time - you can convert to your time zone here) for the entire month of March. If you are interested, please complete this Google form with your preferred date and time slot(s). [Drop me an email at jennytoh@riverlifecoaching.com if you are not able to have access to the Google form]
Attend just one session or as many as you like. Let's come together to support each other and to know that no matter what our challenges are, we are not alone. Attend with an open mind, free of judgment. Attend with an open heart and curiosity. Attend with love and empathy.
See you there!
“We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.”
