Jenny Toh 4/30/20 Jenny Toh 4/30/20

Something's got to give...

What comes to your mind when you read this quote? Do you feel that your life is unravelling around you during this period of uncertainty and anxiety? Is your life orderly and organised but yet, there is something in the background that doesn’t feel quite right?

Are you coping well with the circumstances in your life? Are you thriving or surviving?

I recently attended a webinar organised by the International Coaching Federation Chapter here in Singapore on Stress Management during Uncertainty. One of my key takeaways from the webinar was that it is perfectly fine to not keep pushing yourself to be on top of everything at all times. We all seem to be under pressure, derived internally and externally, to become better versions of ourselves during this “stay-at-home” period. We are telling ourselves now is the time to pick up a new skill or hobby, work even harder, take on new projects, be a better parent, nurture relationships with loved ones, cultivate enriching activities to keep our children occupied, take care of our elderly parents, reach out to people in need… the list goes on and on. I’m not saying that these aspirations are not healthy nor are they to be avoided. However, ask yourself… if you take all this on and more without really looking after yourself, what will happen to you as a person?

Are you taking care of yourself? I know “self-care” and “be kind to yourself” are the buzz words that we share on social media and in our conversations during this period. I know that your “to-do” list is probably overwhelming now and I hear you saying, “What? You want me to add another thing to my list?”

Being kind to yourself doesn’t have to be a chore or another added responsibility. Just take some time to think about the things that make you happy and the activities that bring a smile on your face. They do not have to be anything extravagant and given the fact that we all cannot leave our homes now, the simpler your ideas, the better! For me personally, I love just having my coffee in the quiet of the morning before everyone wakes up. I also enjoy writing in my gratitude journal each night as this exercise allows me to reflect on the many blessings that occur each day and just be grateful to be alive.

What are some of your ideas for taking care of yourself? I would love to hear them! If you are struggling to cope or to carve out time to be kind to yourself, don’t hesitate to contact me and I’ll be more than happy to provide you with a complimentary self-care quiz to encourage you to start thinking about this. You’re not alone! We are all in this together. I’m here to offer you support! “Something’s got to give. Don’t let it be you.”

Jenny Toh 4/23/20 Jenny Toh 4/23/20

Joy Triggers!

*“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” -Abraham Lincoln*

I was speaking to a peer coach the other day and spoke to him about my stress triggers. There has been a lot more of them recently given that my children and I are home all the time now. I’m having to juggle my time with their online lessons, worksheets, home activities together with my work and coaching sessions. I realised that I have been quick to be angry and annoyed with them especially when I am pressed for time. My girls have complained that I haven’t been a nice Mummy lately. Their unhappiness made me stop and think. This is not how I want to be when I am with my girls. My stress triggers occur when unforeseen events happen such as technical glitches on their online portals and not enough time for myself.

What can I do to counter my stress triggers? We are about as happy as we decide to be. It is all in our minds. We can choose to look at a situation from various perspectives. What perspective should I be looking at to serve me well? Whenever I find myself in the face of a stressful situation now, I remind myself to literally take a step back and breathe deeply and slowly. The key questions that keep coming up in my mind is, “How urgent is this situation? Why am I feeling rushed and anxious?” As you can guess, it has always turned out to be that the situation is not any more urgent than what I make it to be. This thought has helped me to centre myself and balance my emotions.

The idea of Joy Triggers popped into my mind when I was doing self-reflection several days ago. Instead of focusing on what causes stress in my life, I chose to be more mindful and notice the moments in my life that give me joy. My morning coffee before everyone wakes up. Hugging and spinning my youngest daughter around. Enjoying a snack with my elder daughter. Having a short chat with my teenage son during dinner time. Connecting with my accountability partner (you know who you are!) in the U.S. via Facebook Messenger on a weekly basis. Winding down at night with a catch-up conversation with my husband after our respective long work days. Penning my thoughts in my journal. Summing up my day in prayer and surrendering all to His care.

I’m curious to hear what your Joy Triggers are. What do they look like? How often do they happen? What can you do to protect them? Do you want to increase their frequency in your daily life? If the current situation in your life prevents you from having any Joy Triggers, we would love to support you to discover and rekindle them! Reach out to us today!

Jenny Toh 4/16/20 Jenny Toh 4/16/20

Surprised?

What’s going through your mind as you read the heading? Are you surprised by all that is going on in your life and in the world today? Are you feeling anxious, upset, angry, fearful, helpless or all of them at varying times throughout a single day? I have been feeling all those emotions and more over the past few months in light of the Covid-19 pandemic sweeping our world today. I feel helpless at times when I think about the things that are not within my control. That’s just it. They are things that I cannot control. Why am I then allowing these things to take all my energy away from me? The simple answer is that I am human and feeling all these emotions is perfectly normal.

“Life is like the river, sometimes it sweeps you gently along and sometimes the rapids come out of nowhere.” - Emma Smith, English author

I love this photo. At the far end of it, you see the gentle flow of the river and at the edge of the photo closest to us, you start to see that the flow of the river is stronger and fiercer. You can almost hear the sound of it gushing towards possibly a waterfall further along the river.

Life’s like that, isn’t it? We have all experienced the gentle calmness and quiet contentment in our lives when all of a sudden, an event happens that shakes the tranquil flow in our lives.

So, what can we do to regain balance? How can we centre ourselves and not feel topsy-turvy in light of these events that are beyond our control? No one is expecting you to deny or suppress your feelings and put on a strong brave front. In times like these, we should think about putting on the type of spectacles that will work for us. The spectacles that will give us the right perspectives to view the current situation. The lenses of compassion, both in terms of self compassion and compassion for others. The glasses for seeking meaningful connections and strengthening existing relationships.

“The way we see things, the way we see the world and everything in it, determines everything else that happens.” - Todd Davis, Chief People Officer, Franklin Covey Co.

If you are feeling at a lost in terms of handling these emotions and want to work towards having the right lenses to view the state of things in the world today, I would be more than happy to support you in your quest for finding clarity and peace. If you want to formulate goals around the effective use of your time at home, please contact me now so that you do not let this opportunity slip past you! We all have it within ourselves to make this difficult time, a learning and growing experience for ourselves and for our family, friends and circles of influence! Let’s get started!

Jenny Toh 4/2/20 Jenny Toh 4/2/20

Grand Opening!

River Life Coaching is now open for business!

I’m so excited to let all of you know that River Life Coaching is now open for business. This business idea of providing life coaching services to individuals who are seeking to find answers to align their lives with their values and to live purposeful lives first came to me when I was going through a crossroad in my life.

Taking a risk!

I reached a point in my legal career where things were easy for me. Yes, there were stressful times as part of the job but there was never anything that I could not handle. You could say it was smooth sailing for me and perhaps, even complacency and boredom. I started asking myself, “Is there more to my life than this? What is my purpose? How do I live my life impactfully?”

I started thinking about my own strengths as a person. I’ve always been a good listener. My family members and friends have often come to me for my listening ear, support and encouragement. They knew that I would give them my honest opinion without any judgment. They felt safe with me. I always felt happy and fulfilled when I helped them see things from a different perspective or discover their own solutions to their challenges.

It was definitely not an easy choice to make, taking this leap of faith to train as a professional coach and to start this business. There were fears, worries and anxiety resulting from stepping out of my comfort zone. So, how did I stay the course?

FOCUS!

I told myself to stay focused on my goal to start and build this coaching business. I also explored the “why” of my desire to start this business. It all stems from my desire to be a guiding light to those who seek fulfilment and purpose in their lives. This conviction is from my own personal walk of faith with God. I realised that by serving others in this regard, this is what makes my own life purposeful and impactful.

I would love to help you find your focus and your vision for your impactful life!

Special invitation…

For those who sign up for my newsletter in the month of April, you will receive a special 20% discount if you sign up and pay for any of my coaching programs this month. If you recommend my coaching programs to anyone else, you will receive a further 10% discount provided that he/she also signs up for any of my programs within this month. This special invitation will expire on 30 April 2020. Sign up now!