Blockers!
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
“I don’t have a choice!”
How often have you said this? I have. Countless times. We say this when our circumstances seem dire and we feel helpless. Coincidentally, I had a conversation with someone on choices earlier this week and I hear myself saying this, “We always have choices. The fact that we say that we don’t have any choices is a choice in itself.” It is easier to give up and give in to the circumstances that we are in than to see how we can improve them. Even if we cannot change our external circumstances, I am reminded of Viktor Frankl’s powerful quote, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
We can choose our thoughts, our attitude, our behaviours and our mindset.
Let’s explore this in the context of setting goals and not meeting them.
A possible reason causing us not to achieve our goals is when we are faced with unexpected barriers that we're unsure how to deal with. We may shut down and wallow in self-pity and frustration. We become discouraged. We start making excuses and convince ourselves that we were never really serious about achieving that particular goal. That it was a good to have and not something we truly desure. We allow ourselves to back off of our original plan. While this is a human and natural tendency, it's not conducive to success.
One approach which you can take to counter this natural downward progression of thoughts and emotions is to explore all those little "what ifs" and see how you can pre-empt them with possible solutions.
"What if I don't pass the prerequisite course?"
"What if I don't get the loan?"
"What if I run out of time?"
"What if the marketing doesn't work?"
"What if I just don't feel like it?"
These are all very real barriers that keep us from realizing our life goals. By planning for them, we greatly improve our chances of succeeding and experience the power of being empowered with a purpose.
What kind of blockers do you foresee?
Internal Blockers
Internal blockers include the thoughts you have about your goal, success, and how you see yourself that keep you from being successful. They include your personal fears, motivation, self-esteem, and paradigms.
"What if I just don't feel like doing my assignment?"
Possible approach - commit to yourself to working on it for at least 15 minutes. Then take a break and come back to it later. This will give you a sense of achievement.
"What if my fear of being rejected in phone calls keeps me from following through on my marketing campaign?"
Try asking a friend help you make the initial phone calls. You might feel better doing when you are not doing it alone. Take the rejections as lessons of growth to discover what you can improve on. Accepting rejections can also strengthen your resilience muscle.
"What if I find myself procrastinating?"
Ask a friend/an accountability partner/your coach to support you in reminding you spend time working on your goals. See if you can find ways to be your own accountability partner. For example, set a dedicated time each day to work on your goals and set milestones and internal timelines.
External Blockers
External blockers include barriers such as money, time, other people's reactions, resources, and results. We are not in direct control of them, but in some instances, we can still do something about it by focusing on what is within our control, planning in advance and taking those steps to improve our situation.
"What if the client turns down my proposal?"
Try thinking - if I don’t submit my proposal, I remain in status quo as in I am not working with this client. If the client rejects my proposal, it still provides an opportunity to ask questions to see how I can improve my proposal and resubmit it.
"What if I lose the materials for the conference I’m presenting in?"
Prepare for this outcome - email them to yourself as a back-up. If you need hard copies printed, arrange in advance with the organisers for this to be done. Make a copy for yourself as well.
"What if the supply of product A doesn’t arrive in time to meet the client’s deadline?"
Anticipate such delays and keep the client informed in order to manage their expectations. Work with your team to brainstorm alternative solutions. Remember that you do not need to solve this all by yourself if you are working in a team or managing a team. Leverage on each other’s strengths.
These are just some simple examples to illustrate that there is always a choice to approach the many obstacles we face in our lives. I hope that you will be encouraged not to give up hope and to learn to view your circumstances from a different lens, one that empowers and uplifts you.
If you would like to explore how coaching can help you stay on course with your goals, I would love to support you in your life’s journey. Schedule a complimentary 30-minutes call with me at this link.
“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.”
― Shannon L. Alder
