Great Expectations
“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”
Do you subscribe to this way of living as conveyed by Jonathan Swift? It is painful to be disappointed. We all have been disappointed by people in our lives and we too have disappointed others. We’re only human. However, to live a life without expectations - is that the answer to living a happy life? I think it may work for a while but may not be sustainable. We all have expectations, be it about ourselves or others. If we don’t have any expectations, life would seem empty. I think if we don’t expect anything out of life, it’s more likely than not, we will not have anything meaningful in life.
What are your expectations for your life? Are you excited about your future or are you facing it with apprehension and fear? For most people, the future holds too many uncertainties and the fear of what might happen tends to overshadow the ray of light that represents the life they ultimately desire. One of the hardest things to do in life is to lift yourself out of your current circumstances and step up to the level of life you desire.
We all live with an unconscious expectation of ourselves and our own lives. This expectation not only determines what we have in our lives but it also represents what we are willing to settle for. Expectation is a very powerful emotion and one that very few people ever learn to fully cultivate. Whatever you expect with certainty is what you will get in your life. Expectation is the emotional state where an idea becomes so real that you feel it even though you can't hold it yet. Expectation is like an invisible magnet that will attract into your life that which you expect. When you expect something, you activate and engage those parts of your mind and your nervous system that can empower you to think the unthinkable and do the undoable. One of the most powerful ways to cultivate expectation is to develop a very clear vision for your life.
(Read my blog post, Check Your Vision, published on 27 January 2022, on ways to have a clear vision of your goals)
Most people never even make the time to really define what they want from their lives. Sometimes, we kind of know what we want but we don’t believe we can have it so we just hope something will come along one day to change our path and our dreams will be fulfilled. Expectation, however, is a completely different mindset. It is a mindset of absolute certainty that can be consciously cultivated. To turn a hope into an expectation, you simply eliminate doubt and fear by eliminating the opposing outcome. Instead of "seeing" something as failing or succeeding, you focus on your steps towards success.
When a woman is pregnant, we would say she is expecting. In other words, she knows that beyond a shadow of a doubt exactly what's going to happen on or around the 9th month of her pregnancy. Although some of the details are still unclear, she is certain that she will have a baby and not something unknown. On an emotional level, she can already feel the connection to her baby although she can't see and hold her baby yet. What you expect for your life is exactly like that. When you start to expect for your life that which you absolutely desire, your whole mindset turns from an uncertain hoping and wishing to the certainty of expecting. The images you encourage and entertain in your mind's eye, what you say to yourself and everybody else reflects only the results you are committed to.
Most people expect the worst and hope for the best. Our cultural conditioning has taught us things like "don't get your hopes up" – just in case you might be disappointed. We've been taught to aim as low as possible. Everything above that will be a bonus. Right? Wrong! Remember that what you expect with certainty is what you will get in your life. You have to break away from your autopilot mode of living a life where you are not really happy but you are not doing anything about it. If you want to lift your life and the quality of your life to a higher level than what it is now, you need to start raising your expectations. Raise your expectations of what you are as a person and what you believe you deserve. What you believe you deserve is based on your expectations. When you lift your expectations to a higher level, you believe that better things are in store for you and you will consciously take steps to improve your life.
You don’t need any special skills or knowledge to raise your expectations. You simply need a decision that from this point onwards, you will not settle for anything less than you can possibly be. The difference between hoping for something with uncertainty and depending on something with expectation is nothing but the way you control and direct the focus of your mind. What you say to yourself, the images you imagine and your behaviour are what you can consciously control and direct but only if you choose to. If not, you will revert back to the autopilot way of living and just go with the flow of "whatever" comes along.
Great expectations require intent, discipline and commitment. You believe you can create great results. The difference between great expectations and weak hopes is nothing but a mindset; a mindset that can make the difference between living a life of fulfilment and one of desperation and frustration. You have the choice. What will you choose?
“We can each define ambition and progress for ourselves. The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests.”
- Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Meta
If this topic resonates with you and you want to shift towards having great expectations about your life, I’m happy to support you as your coach. Let’s chat - reach out to me here!
