Letting Go…
I’ve been thinking lately about what is holding us back from living life fully, from pursuing our dreams. I had a conversation with a friend and fellow coach about collaboration and setting goals for next year. She said, “We dream first and not worry about the “how” just yet.” She suggested that we take up Walt Disney’s strategy when he was dreaming up Disneyland. One of his famous sayings was “If you can visualize it, if you can dream it, there’s some way to do it.” Her chat with me definitely helped me see things in a different light and I’m now excited about what’s in store for both of us!
As we are now in the last quarter of 2021, when you reflect on how you want to end this year and plan for the year ahead, what mindset do you need to let go off in order to fully embrace the opportunities that lie ahead for you?
Fear of Failure
What are you afraid of? Fear will always be there and if you wait for it to disappear, you will be frozen in place. Learn to embrace failure. I always encourage my clients to think of small steps that they can take towards facing their fears as once they accomplish that small step, their confidence increases and they will be ready to take on another step in the direction of their goals and dreams.
Blaming Others
“I can’t do this because of “so and so”; “If only I had that person’s strength…”; “I am born in the wrong family/ stuck in the wrong job/ married the wrong person…”
If you keep on pointing the fingers at other people and not reclaiming the fact that you are fully capable of making the choices in your life to make a difference, you will be stuck in this spiral of blaming everyone and every situation. It is always easier to put on the blaming hat. It’s often scarier to take ownership of your life. At the same time, if you don’t “own” your life, who does?
Pessimistic Outlook
Yes, there are so many uncertainties in our world today. As a planner, I struggle with remaining flexible and changing my plans ever so often in this new world that we live in. It’s easy to fall into the victim mode and take on a pessimistic outlook in life. On the flip side, if you take each situation as an opportunity for growth and learning, there’s a chance your outlook will not be as gloomy. Certain situations are harder to convert into gifts as others so remember that it also takes time for the gifts in these situations to be unearth. Just be patient and trust that you have it in you to face the challenges in your life.
Self-doubt
You don’t think you’ll ever amount to anything. You think you don’t have the skills nor do you have what it takes to become successful. Ask yourself if this is really true. Take stock of your past accomplishments and successes and adopt an objective view of it. Ask your family and friends for their views. We are often much harder on ourselves and don’t give ourselves enough credit.
Aiming for Perfection
This is one that hits close to home for me. I jokingly tell people that I am a recovering perfectionist. My kids think I have OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder - simply because I am quite particular about having things done in a certain way which I think is the right way. I have realised that aiming for perfection will only lead to setbacks and frustration. What we should aim for is doing the best that we can with what we have and then be satisfied with our efforts. I definitely need to continually let go of my perfectionist thinking.
Waiting for the ‘Right Time’
Is there a right time? The “right time” will vary from person to person and goal to goal. I see this mindset as being tied in with perfectionism. When I was preparing to launch my business last April, I struggled with identifying the right time to start my business. After much prayer and discussion with my husband, I realised that there isn’t one right timing. It’s just to get it going and learn along the way. Now, when I think of launching any new programs or starting any new initiatives, yes, I still do the research and necessary preparation but I am also more decisive in when to start any of these ventures. As long as you are open to growth and learning, you can start any time.
Stuck in Your Comfort Zone
It is easier to stay where we are and not think about changing or rocking the boat. Ask yourself if you will regret not taking that step to change or do something new. Will you be haunted by the “what if” question down the road? This ties in with facing your fears. When you take that first step outside your comfort zone, you will soon realise that what was uncomfortable and scary for you, that’s now your new comfort zone!
“First, think. Second, believe.
Third, dream. And finally, dare.”
– Walt Disney
What mindset do you need to let go of so that you can start realising your dreams? Let’s have a conversation about how I can support you in this venture as your coach. Reach out to me here today.
