Push or Pull?
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.”
Photo by Meritt Thomas on Unsplash
As you think about the tasks on your to-do list today, which ones excite you and which ones make you feel dread and apprehension? What items on your to-do list have the “pull” factor, the ones that you are eager to get to? Which ones feel heavy, requiring that extra “push” from you to get it off your list?
Here’s my take on some of my tasks that fall within either of these two categories of push and pull:
Reading a 200-page document and producing a 10 page summary from it. Push! Although I have the requisite skills from my legal training to do this, this task doesn’t give me any joy.
Doing the laundry. Push! I know it is something that needs to be done but hey, if I can pay someone else to do it for me, I would!
Helping my daughters with their homework. This needs a bit more thought. On the one hand, it can be a pull for me as I’ll have the opportunity to interact with my daughters. However, it can also be a push especially when their requests for help come at a time when I’m having a busy day.
Writing my blogs. Definitely a pull! I enjoy putting my thoughts on paper (or in this case, on my website) as it is a creative outlet for me and I know I’m sharing value with you, my readers.
Watching a sitcom. Pull, although I know I can use my time more productively but I also need downtime to unwind and laugh.
When you look at the list of things below, how would you categorise them?
Which ones are “push or “pull” for you?
Having your performance review conversation with your manager or if you are the manager, conducting that conversation with your direct report.
Working on a solution to an important project for the company.
Giving a presentation to an audience of 100 people.
Planning your 2-weeks’ vacation and actually taking it!
Cleaning the backyard.
Teaching your son how to drive a car.
Hosting a dinner party.
Visiting your parents and helping them set up their new computer.
Each of us will have different answers to these tasks because we are all wired differently. Some people will be excited about presenting in front of a large audience but there will be others who prefer to visit the dentist for a filling instead of giving that presentation.
Once you have decided that the items on your to-do list are non-negotiables which means that they will need to be carried out today, how do you shift your thinking around those items with the “push” factor to be more appealing to you? What can you do to increase their “pull” towards you?
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash
Let’s take the work-related tasks. Performance review conversations, asking for a salary increment or a promotion, having a dialogue with a difficult co-worker - if these represent a “push” feeling for you, how do you look at them differently?
Consider your purpose and intention behind each task.
What do you want to get out of it? It is definitely more obvious for situations such as asking for a raise or a promotion but ask yourself, what’s the real reason for asking for the raise - is it just the money or is there something more to be considered? What does the raise or promotion signify in your life? Focus on the deeper reason and that will give you the energy needed to look at the tasks differently. If you are clear on why you want the raise, you will be able to articulate your thoughts better and even feel excited to ask for it. As for the performance review conversations and other types of difficult conversations, again, get clear on your reasons for having these conversations. Focus on the desired outcomes and also be clear on what you can or cannot compromise.
Take steps to make it “lighter”.
What small steps can you take to make the situation lighter and more appealing? For most of us, it’s a no-brainer that taking a vacation is a pull for us! However, if you are running your own business or in senior management with huge responsibilities, taking a 2-weeks’ vacation may be a “push” for you. It is hard for you to let go and give yourself a break. Think about the arrangements you can take to delegate your responsibilities, manage expectations of others and reschedule commitments. Once you have done what you can to facilitate your vacation, take your vacation and allow yourself to enjoy, rest and recharge. You deserve it! If your take on household chores is a “push”, think about how you can make these chores more attractive to you. Perhaps, it’s to elicit the help of your spouse and children or if you can afford it, consider outsourcing! If not, break down the chores into manageable chunks and have little celebrations after you’re done such as a nice cup of coffee, a 10-minutes online shopping spree or just talking a short walk in the park. Think of rewards that you will enjoy at the end of the tasks to give you the “pull’ factor.
Acceptance
By acceptance, I don’t mean a resigned acceptance as in a sense of defeat and heaviness. There will be tasks that are difficult. For example, working on a solution for that major project. It is challenging. Accepting this situation means looking at it as it is, objectively and trusting that you will eventually find a way to handle the situation, whether it’s by your own means or relying on others and available resources. The important thing is not to allow your negative emotions overwhelm you. Yes, the undesirable task has to be carried out. What do you need to do to get started? Draw up a specific plan, consider the people who can help you, leverage on your existing skills (or consider upgrading your skills) and identify available resources. Explore the task at hand with curiosity and consider all avenues without shutting them down at the first instance. Again, acknowledge and celebrate your successes along the way!
If you are currently finding a lot more “push”-like tasks in your daily to-do list and want to shift your perspectives in handling them, reach out to me here today!
Schedule a complimentary 30-minutes call to explore how my coaching can help you address your negative thoughts around those difficult tasks and find strategies to better deal with them.
You don’t have to walk this journey alone.
