Reset Button
“Rivers have what man most respects and longs for in his own life and thought - a capacity for renewal and replenishment, continual energy, creativity, cleansing.”
- John Kauffmann, Australian author
How have you been feeling these past few months? Has it been a time of renewal and replenishment? You have had more time at home to reflect on how your life has been and made the necessary changes to improve your well-being as well as those around you. You slowed down, cherished the simplicity of life and were truly present with and appreciative of those around you.
Have you also used this time of staying at home to learn a new skill or rekindle an old hobby? You find joy in creating new dishes for the family. You have started painting and sewing again. You became the handy man of your household, exploring new ways to maximise the space in your storeroom. You finally have time to implement the KonMari Philosophy which you picked up from your faithful viewing of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix.
For some, these past few months have been difficult and stressful. You find yourself busier than ever, coping with the lack of boundaries between home and work and home-schooling your children. You also find yourself worrying about your parents’ health and well-being, about your children who are now abroad either studying or working, about your job security, about your finances and the future for you and your family.
We are inundated with news articles and social media posts with buzz words and hashtags such as “the new normal”, “contact tracing”, “social distancing”, “zoom-bombing”, #stayhome, #flattenthecurve and #WFH (work from home). on 22 April 2020, one of the headlines on ABC News was “Cleaner air due to coronavirus pandemic makes Earth Day 50th anniversary celebration bittersweet for environmentalists.” “We’re seeing in some places the best air quality in decades,” Bill Magavern, the policy director for the Coalition for Clean Air, told ABC News. “It is very good for our lung health that air pollution is down during this time of crisis.”
Perhaps, this period offers the world a reset button to restore the health of the earth. Some may even say it is a reset button for all of us because we are now acutely aware of how fragile life is and not to take it for granted. We have spent less on material goods and more on learning, growing and improving oneself. We have allowed ourselves to experience our emotions and not suppress or push them away. Life is painful, raw and real. At the same time, it is beautiful, resilient and inspirational.
What awaits us in the “new normal”?
I don’t know. What I do know is that I have learnt a few things about myself during this period. Firstly, I have learnt to accept my emotions more freely and allowed myself to feel sad, discouraged, anxious, angry and frustrated with the unhappy events in my life these past few months. I typically tell myself that to be brave and strong, that these emotions are not helpful to me. I distract myself from them and suppress them.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
However, I now realise that by allowing myself to sit with these emotions and to give them time to surface is actually healthy. It is such a release for me when I give myself permission to feel these strong emotions. I am actually able to get back on my feet quicker than if I denied their existence.
The second lesson for me is to slow down. I am usually very task oriented and a perfectionist at times. I like to get the job done and find satisfaction in fixing things. However, the reality is not all things can be fixed. I realise this now and resist rushing into “solution-mode” whenever my children come to me with their problems. Instead, I take the time to listen to them, to truly hear what they are thinking and feeling and to invite them to come up with their ideas to solve their problems. This approach works better for all of us as they learn how to handle difficult circumstances by using their own resourceful minds and I learn to let go.
This brings me to my third lesson - letting go. I have been stressed in certain occasions when I feel the need to make things right for those whom I love even though it is not possible for me to do so. During this Covid-19 pandemic, so many things are beyond my control. I worry about my parents and do not know when I can visit them again as they live in Malaysia and the restrictions on cross-border travel have not been lifted. My husband is going through a stressful time at work and I just want to make things better for him. My father-in-law has health issues and is also going through a rough patch these past 3 months. All in all, I felt helpless. However, after much prayer and reflection on God’s Word, I am reminded and comforted that God is in control. All I need to do is to cast all my anxiety on Him because He cares for me (taken from 1 Peter 5:7, NIV). This realisation has also given me the much-needed relief from my stress and worries. I learnt that my job is not to fix things for God but to let go and trust that God will use me as an instrument when He chooses to do so. It is not easy for me to feel vulnerable, slow down, let go and surrender all but I am now living these lessons on a daily basis. I trust that these lessons will help me to be resilient and hopeful to face what lies ahead in the “new normal”.
What have you learnt about yourself during this pandemic? What buttons need resetting in your life? Do you need support to thrive and flourish in the “new normal”?
