An Attitude of Acceptance
Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash
“Ask the river, where it comes from? You will get no answer. Ask the river, where is it going? You will get no answer, because the river lives inside this very moment; neither in the past nor in the future, in this very moment only!”
Following on from my blog post last week on letting go, I’ve been reflecting on my own thoughts and behaviours towards a difficult personal situation in my life which involved dealing with an individual who overstepped boundaries. I must admit it has been difficult to sit with my emotions and make firm decisions to see things through. I felt hurt, angry and frustrated, to the point that I can’t seem to find a way out. The quote above resonated with me. It’s not the “river” I asked but God. He appeared silent. No answer. What do I need to do to find a solution? No answer. What do you want me to learn from this? No answer. Where is the justice in all this? No answer. How long will this last? No answer. I wrestled with God, to the point of demanding answers, bargaining with Him and just crying out as I was at my wits’ end.
Then, I just accepted the situation. By acceptance, I don’t mean a feeling of resignation and defeat. I just came to a point where I told myself, “I’ve done all that I can to make the situation better. I know that I am not in the wrong. My conscience is clear and my integrity is intact. I can do nothing more now.”
Surprisingly, just by saying that aloud and even now as I type these words, the feeling is liberating. I feel lighter, as though a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I still don’t know the outcome if I will ever be vindicated. However, the realisation that came to me when I accepted the situation is that there are lessons for growth to be learnt. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and mulling about why this is happening to me, I decided to take a step back and ask myself the following questions:
How has this experience changed me?
What has this experience taught me?
How has the experience equipped me to handle similar situations in the future?
What have I learnt as a lesson of growth from this experience?
Photo by Florian van Schreven on Unsplash
This experience has changed me in that it has increased my self-confidence. I now know that I have a stronger inner resolve and wisdom to face this situation and similar situations in the future and still come out of it still honouring God with my words and actions.
It has taught me that I am prone to be critical of myself when unfavourable circumstances arise. I have a tendency towards self-blame, taking on too much responsibility of the actions of others. Does this behaviour serve me in any way? Of course not! It has made me realise that I am not responsible for causing anyone else to behave in a certain way. They are perfectly capable of managing their own emotions. If they fail to do so and behave negatively, I am not to be blamed.
What is my lesson of growth? I believe it’s to continue to trust in God and His promises despite not knowing the answers. It’s to be comfortable with the unknowns while resting on the truth that He loves me and all is still within His control, even if I don’t see or feel it.
It reminds me of the times when I woke up from nightmares as a child. My first urge was to run to my parents’ bedroom to wake them up but as I grew older, the fact that I knew that they were in the room next to mine gave me comfort. I didn’t need to see or hear them. Similarly, I know that God has not abandoned me and I draw strength from the many times in the past that He has seen me through difficult times in my life.
What can you do when you face adversities and circumstances that shake you to the core? How does adopting an attitude of acceptance help you? Jack Welch, CEO of General Electric, said, “Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it to be.” I would add that with this state of acceptance in facing reality as it is, your mind becomes clearer when figuring out the solutions to the circumstances. You are not dwelling on the past on how good things were back then. You are also not distracted by the uncertainties and fears of what the future holds. You are fully present to look at reality as it stands now.
It may be helpful for you to consider the four questions I posed in this blog post. These questions will prompt you to reflect and go deep within yourself to consider your inner strengths and resources to emerge from the adversities stronger than before they occurred in your life. These questions will also help you look at the difficult situation in your life from a different perspective - one of discovery, learning and growing as opposed to one of struggle, fear and despair.
I want to acknowledge your courage in making this decision to start exploring this new way of looking at the adversities in your life. Each small step that you take in changing your perspectives will reap tremendous benefit for your mental and emotional well-being. If you would like to explore further ways to change your perspectives, we would be more than happy to support you. Contact us here!
Reset Button
“Rivers have what man most respects and longs for in his own life and thought - a capacity for renewal and replenishment, continual energy, creativity, cleansing.”
- John Kauffmann, Australian author
How have you been feeling these past few months? Has it been a time of renewal and replenishment? You have had more time at home to reflect on how your life has been and made the necessary changes to improve your well-being as well as those around you. You slowed down, cherished the simplicity of life and were truly present with and appreciative of those around you.
Have you also used this time of staying at home to learn a new skill or rekindle an old hobby? You find joy in creating new dishes for the family. You have started painting and sewing again. You became the handy man of your household, exploring new ways to maximise the space in your storeroom. You finally have time to implement the KonMari Philosophy which you picked up from your faithful viewing of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix.
For some, these past few months have been difficult and stressful. You find yourself busier than ever, coping with the lack of boundaries between home and work and home-schooling your children. You also find yourself worrying about your parents’ health and well-being, about your children who are now abroad either studying or working, about your job security, about your finances and the future for you and your family.
We are inundated with news articles and social media posts with buzz words and hashtags such as “the new normal”, “contact tracing”, “social distancing”, “zoom-bombing”, #stayhome, #flattenthecurve and #WFH (work from home). on 22 April 2020, one of the headlines on ABC News was “Cleaner air due to coronavirus pandemic makes Earth Day 50th anniversary celebration bittersweet for environmentalists.” “We’re seeing in some places the best air quality in decades,” Bill Magavern, the policy director for the Coalition for Clean Air, told ABC News. “It is very good for our lung health that air pollution is down during this time of crisis.”
Perhaps, this period offers the world a reset button to restore the health of the earth. Some may even say it is a reset button for all of us because we are now acutely aware of how fragile life is and not to take it for granted. We have spent less on material goods and more on learning, growing and improving oneself. We have allowed ourselves to experience our emotions and not suppress or push them away. Life is painful, raw and real. At the same time, it is beautiful, resilient and inspirational.
What awaits us in the “new normal”?
I don’t know. What I do know is that I have learnt a few things about myself during this period. Firstly, I have learnt to accept my emotions more freely and allowed myself to feel sad, discouraged, anxious, angry and frustrated with the unhappy events in my life these past few months. I typically tell myself that to be brave and strong, that these emotions are not helpful to me. I distract myself from them and suppress them.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
However, I now realise that by allowing myself to sit with these emotions and to give them time to surface is actually healthy. It is such a release for me when I give myself permission to feel these strong emotions. I am actually able to get back on my feet quicker than if I denied their existence.
The second lesson for me is to slow down. I am usually very task oriented and a perfectionist at times. I like to get the job done and find satisfaction in fixing things. However, the reality is not all things can be fixed. I realise this now and resist rushing into “solution-mode” whenever my children come to me with their problems. Instead, I take the time to listen to them, to truly hear what they are thinking and feeling and to invite them to come up with their ideas to solve their problems. This approach works better for all of us as they learn how to handle difficult circumstances by using their own resourceful minds and I learn to let go.
This brings me to my third lesson - letting go. I have been stressed in certain occasions when I feel the need to make things right for those whom I love even though it is not possible for me to do so. During this Covid-19 pandemic, so many things are beyond my control. I worry about my parents and do not know when I can visit them again as they live in Malaysia and the restrictions on cross-border travel have not been lifted. My husband is going through a stressful time at work and I just want to make things better for him. My father-in-law has health issues and is also going through a rough patch these past 3 months. All in all, I felt helpless. However, after much prayer and reflection on God’s Word, I am reminded and comforted that God is in control. All I need to do is to cast all my anxiety on Him because He cares for me (taken from 1 Peter 5:7, NIV). This realisation has also given me the much-needed relief from my stress and worries. I learnt that my job is not to fix things for God but to let go and trust that God will use me as an instrument when He chooses to do so. It is not easy for me to feel vulnerable, slow down, let go and surrender all but I am now living these lessons on a daily basis. I trust that these lessons will help me to be resilient and hopeful to face what lies ahead in the “new normal”.
What have you learnt about yourself during this pandemic? What buttons need resetting in your life? Do you need support to thrive and flourish in the “new normal”?
Time...
“Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.”
Photo by Simon Wilkes on Unsplash
What feelings and thoughts are evoked when you see the word “time”? Are you feeling happy thinking of the available time that you have now to be able to do the things that you have put off doing? Does the word trigger feelings of anxiety and stress because there is so much to do within such a short span of time? Are there feelings of frustration and uneasiness because you are not able to resume your normal routines? Is there regret because you cannot turn back the clock to set things right with a loved one? Does the thought of what the future holds for you bring you expectant hope or worries and despair?
What does time mean for you?
Lexico.com powered by Oxford University Press defines time as follows (the list below is not exhaustive):
A point of time as measured in hours and minutes past midnight or noon.
As a verb - plan, schedule, or arrange when (something) should happen or be done. E.g. the first race is timed for 7:30a.m.
An instance of something happening or being done; an occasion. E.g. this is the first time the baby tasted ice cream.
The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.
As I write this, it is the last definition that resonates with me the most. The events of my past, present and future are viewed as a whole. We tend to hold on to snapshots of our lives that make us happy and try out best to sift out and discard the unhappy moments. Some of us may have the tendency to look at life through rose-tinted glasses, holding on to an optimistic and wistful perspective of events and circumstances. There are others who only see the negative side of things and take the gloomiest possible view. Then, there are the individuals whom we admire - those who are able to maintain a balanced outlook in life, realistic and practical while remaining hopeful and resilient despite the unfavourable circumstances. Which category do you think you fall into?
Photo by Denny Müller on Unsplash
As I reflect on the word “time”, the feeling of nostalgia fills me. Tomorrow is my 17th wedding anniversary. I chose the quote from Marcus Aurelius because it reminded me that the events in our lives flow like the river. As much as we want to hold on to a current feeling, a current event or even a person at that point in time, we are not able to. The flow of time will take it away and it is pointless to resist and fight it as it goes against the course of nature.
I recall the day my husband and I exchanged our wedding vows at Leicester City Council in a small quiet ceremony on a sunny, breezy afternoon. We had a simple lunch and spent time in the backyard of my husband’s home, looking at the flowers and bees and discussing our future together with excitement and anticipation. We were both young and idealistic then. After 17 years and blessed with 3 children, our marriage has grown and matured in so many ways. So have we as individuals. A small part of me wishes to hold on to that summer afternoon, for it not to be swept away. Things appeared simpler then. Perhaps, I am looking back to that day with rose-tinted glasses. The reality is that my wedding day was just a snapshot of my life. My husband and I have since had countless snapshots of the good, the bad and the ugly of marriage. If I were to keep holding on to that point in time, I will miss out on opportunities to be fully present to enjoy the here and now with my husband and my children. There is nothing wrong in reminiscing on the good old days but if we hold on to them too tightly, we are not living in the present and appreciating what we have now.
Are you holding on too tightly to a memory, an event or a way of life from your past? What are you not willing to let go of? What is keeping you from living life in the present with expectant hope for the future?
Reach out to us today to discover how to move forward in your life with gratitude and hope!
Navigating the Bends
“The river is constantly turning and bending and you never know where it’s going to go and where you’ll wind up. Following the bend in the river and staying on your own path means that you are on the right track. Don’t let anyone deter you from that.”
If you see your life’s journey as a river, what does your river look like?
Is it like a tranquil stream, peaceful and flowing smoothly, enriching the plants and animals on its banks? Does it look more like the rapids, ranging on powerfully and breaking through everything in its path with great force? Does your river meander, one that winds back and forth, rather than following a straight course? Is the flow of your river blocked with too many structures built on it to slow down its natural flow?
As I reflect on these questions, I realised that my own river has gone through all these stages at various phases of my life. It is currently in the phase where the flow of my river is blocked and restricted and there are bends to navigate in order for my river to flow smoothly again. I believe many of you are experiencing this phase right now due to the restrictions imposed on us during this season of the Covid-19 pandemic.
As a family, we are navigating the new school schedules and adapting to new ways of learning amidst requirements to conduct ourselves differently. My elder daughter is back at school this week and is adjusting to the various restrictions imposed on her for her own good such as putting on face masks or face shields and physical distancing. My other two children are still at home this week due to their timetables and learning virtually through the various online platforms. This is the “new normal” for them for the coming weeks, if not, months.
As for me, I will not be able to do in-person coaching and workshops even after the easing of our government’s restrictions on physical movements and interactions to avoid the second wave of the spread of this illusive virus. There are days when I feel frustrated and even trapped in my current circumstances. When I feel this way, it drains a lot of my energy and I start doubting my own capabilities. I have concerns about growing my business and my well thought up plans pre Covid-19 appear to be shelved indefinitely.
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
How do I stay on my path despite my feelings of doubt and insecurity? I remind myself that it is normal to feel these emotions and not be hard on myself to “fix” my own emotions. Emotions are meant to be felt but they do not form my reality. They may cloud my view of my circumstances but these emotions are fleeting in themselves. It is easy to dwell on them and let them occupy our minds all the time.
We require discipline and focus to stay on our respective paths despite the foggy circumstances. As long as we are crystal clear on our goals and aspirations, we will eventually achieve them. The roads we take to get there may be longer, winding, bumpy, filled with potholes and we may have to take U-turns and rethink our routes. I strongly believe that I will reach my destination because I clearly know what I want and more importantly, the “why” of my aspirations. My “why” goes beyond my own personal needs and satisfaction. My “why” is that through coaching, I will be able to help and support many individuals to discover their “whys” as well and to live their lives fully to positively impact the lives of their family, friends and the communities they live and work in. This is how I stay focus on my path when my feelings attempt to distract me.
The famous author, Simon Sinek, poses the question on the importance of knowing your “why” in his book, Start With Why, “Very few people or companies can clearly articulate WHY they do WHAT they do. By WHY I mean your purpose, cause or belief - WHY does your company exist? WHY do you get out of bed every morning? And WHY should anyone care?”
Knowing your “why” will make it easier to figure out your “how” - how do you work towards achieving your goals and pursuits? In organisational terms, how will you operationalise your “why”? Clarity comes when you are very clear on your “why”. Simon Sinek goes on to say that it is not that difficult to figure out your “why” but the main obstacle is to trust your gut and instinct over the outside influences and to stay true to your purpose, cause or belief.
How clear are you on your “why”? Do you have a vivid image of it in your mind that keeps you focused and committed to your path? Are you facing setbacks or struggling with difficulties to stay on course despite knowing your “why”? Are your fears and limiting beliefs holding you back? Are you are doubting your own instincts?
Do you trust yourself?
Let us help you uncover and rediscover your “why” which may be lost and buried due to the busyness in your life and constant demands imposed on you. Contact us to get started today by clicking here!
Standing Firm
An inspired painting done as a gift to me from my friend, Lisa Tan. If you like what you see, visit her Instagram page at https://www.instagram.com/travellingfeet88/.
Do you know what your core values and principles are? These are your '“non-negotiables” that serve as your compass through the various roads, including road-blocks, diversions and U-turns in your life. These principles are what you hold dear and close to your heart. Your core values create the essence of your identity. They form the basis and the foundation on which you build your life.
If you make a decision or commit to an action that is not aligned with your core values, you will feel a sense of uneasiness and discomfort. You may not feel it instantly if you are not in tune with your core values due to the busyness and distractions of today’s hectic pace of life. However, this sense of misalignment will eventually hit you because you will realise that something is not quite right with those areas in your life where you are not living in alignment with your core values.
“Despite the ferocity of the current, a river is always moving but it’s always in the same place. And much like a river, while we should surge forward with great ferocity, our principles should never move.”
This quote resonates with me because the author uses the river to illustrate clearly that no matter what we face in our life’s journeys, how strong and impactful our experiences may be, we will be able to hold firm to our core values and principles and continue to thrive, to flourish. There will be moments when we feel that we cannot stay afloat but when we draw strength from the essence of who we are and the values that we embody, we will be able to stand firm, growing and learning from these challenging moments in our lives.
I recently took the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test along with a few other personality tests just to gauge if my core values and principles have changed over time. I was quietly surprised and assured when I received my test results. I’ve taken the MBTI tests at various stages in my life and I’ve always obtained the result of being a Nurturer (ISFJ). A true introvert who is observant and pragmatic while being empathetic and has a strong work ethic. My strong work ethic and sense of responsibility have led me to my legal career as I believe in fairness and justice for all. My second wind in life was brought about by my trait of empathy and compassion. Being a coach enables me to understand and connect with individuals at a much deeper level than in everyday conversations. Coaching gives me a sense of purpose that is higher than my own personal desires.
Photo by Linus Nylund on Unsplash
As a believer in the Christian faith, I know that this is my calling. By holding onto my core values of gratitude, honesty and a love for learning, I have been able to grow so much from the challenging circumstances and obstacles in my life. I always remind myself that despite the external circumstances that are beyond my control, God is in control. The Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4: 11-12 (NIV), “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” This is how I stand firm when crisis hits! What do you draw on for your strength when you face difficulties and challenges in your life?
If you want to explore more about your core values and principles and work on aligning them in your daily living, reach out to us here today! We are more than happy to hear from you and find out we can support you to thrive and flourish through these unprecedented, uncertain times!
The Power of Persistence!
I had a recent conversation with my teenage son on his goal to be one of the highest ranking “MVP”s (Most Valued Player) in his favourite online game. He was recounting his efforts in making daily progress and collecting badges and ranking points in this game. He plays the game whenever he can carve out time from his school work and other activities. He gives up sleep, much to my disapproval, just to “grind” the game during weekends. He grins in satisfaction whenever he sees his name moving up in the ranks of global players. There is, of course, the anguish and pain when he encounters a losing streak which then causes him to drop several notches from his desired ranking position. He has even declared numerous times, out of frustration, that he will never play the game again! Does he stop? The answer is no. I believe that he doesn’t quit playing this game despite the agony of countless defeat because he finds meaning and a sense of purpose in it. That’s what keeps him going! I personally don’t see the purpose but who am I to judge? We are all unique individuals. The beauty is that we all find meaning and purpose in something that may be completely nonsensical to everyone else!
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
“A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence.”
Have you felt similar motivation and drive to pursue a goal, an aspiration or a dream just like my son with his online game? How did you keep yourself going despite the hardship, the fatigue, the disappointments and the obstacles? Who were your greatest supporters, your cheerleaders? How did you stay focus to reach the light at the end of the long tunnel? Despite the difficulties and the challenges, would you give up your goal or your dream? I believe you wouldn’t because you find meaning and purpose, even a calling, in your pursuit to make your dream a reality.
Photo by Christiaan Huynen on Unsplash
My journey to be a certified professional coach was exactly that…a journey. There were moments when I felt that I have taken on too much during my training, given my commitments in my work and family. I felt discouraged when the light at the end of the tunnel seemed so far away. There were road blocks, delays and naysayers who made my journey even harder.
How did I stay the course despite the challenges, the long hours and my inner self critic? It’s because I find meaning and purpose in being a professional coach. I believe that it is my calling, that God intended me to use this gift to help people who are looking for their own purpose and meaning in life. The wonderful thing about training as a coach is that you reap the benefits of being coached by your peer coaches. These wonderful coaches have helped me gain clarity and self-awareness to stay motivated and focused towards my goal to complete my professional coach certification and start my coaching business.
What thoughts and feelings come up for you when you read this blog? Are you staying the course towards your goals and dreams? Do you need support and encouragement to persist, to move forward and to keep going towards the light at the end of your tunnel? I would be honoured to be your companion traveller in this exciting journey! Contact me today to find your power of persistence!
Closed doors
What is your beginning? The obvious and most logical answer is the day that you were born. This is not a trick question. My intention in asking this question is for you to reflect if you can pinpoint a time in your life when you felt that it was indeed a new beginning, a new chapter in your life. Perhaps, it was the day you became a teenager or when you graduated from high school. That moment when you received your first job offer. or when you knelt down and proposed to your girlfriend.
We all have different definitions of our beginnings. One (or shall I say three?) of my most impactful beginnings was when I became a mother to my 3 amazing children. Each beginning was unique and memorable. These beginnings have also shaped me into who I am today. As for my coaching journey, my beginning occurred when I took the leap of faith to start my coach training. My journey as a coach has enabled me to fully understand and know myself. I have also been privileged and honoured to have formed many strong relationships with fellow coaches around the world where we continually support one another in our respective coaching journeys. Do I wish I could turn back time? Not for these events in my life but yes, there are other events in my life where I wish I was wiser and made better choices. However, just as we all have our beginnings, it is not humanly possible to turn back time to the source, the catalyst that propelled us to where we are now.
“When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
Do we linger on, looking at the closed doors in our lives? Do we let these closed doors hold us back from exploring other doors that are wide open? We may be too focused on the closed doors that we do not even notice the opportunities and possibilities in our lives.
What are your closed doors? Was it that harsh comment made by your father when you didn’t meet his expectations as a 10-year-old boy? Was it when you received critical feedback about your job performance from your manager? Was it when you didn’t obtain the promotion that you worked so hard for?
What can you do to move forward, turn away from these closed doors and stay resilient to search and be open to new opportunities? You are no longer that 10-year-old boy. Your past need not determine your present moments and your future days. You do not have to be “stuck” with your past and limiting beliefs.
Photo by Gabriele Stravinskaite on Unsplash
You can decide how you will deal with the critical feedback or missed promotion, either to dwell on it and let your emotions and morale spiral downwards or to reflect on it and choose to find ways to improve your future performance. Ask yourself these questions to change your perspectives:
1) What can I learn from this?
2) What can I be grateful for in this situation?
3) What will happen if I continue in this perspective?
4) What am I not seeing or acknowledging?
5) What can I do in the next few days, few weeks, months to change my current situation?
If any of these questions inspire you to move away from your closed doors and towards new possibilities and new perspectives, contact us today to explore these questions further and uncover ground-breaking truths to start living an intentional and purposeful life!
River series!
Photo by Jeffrey Workman on Unsplash
It’s been more than a month since the launch of the website! I’m grateful for all the support, encouragement and positive feedback that I have received from all of you. Do keep them coming! This blog will be the kick-off for my series of blog posts on various quotes and analogies of rivers.
“River knows this: there is no hurry. We shall get there someday.” - A.A. Milne, author of the Winnie-the-Pooh books.
Yes, wise words of wisdom of Pooh, a teddy bear whom we all love and adore. His simplicity of thoughts and honesty of feelings are wonderful reminders for all of us in this day and age of constant busyness and hectic schedules. When was the last time you slowed down and really savoured your day? I recalled one afternoon when I was working furiously to finish drafting a legal document while working from home when my two daughters came into my room after returning from school. Instead of stopping and being fully present and listening to them, I brushed them aside, saying curtly, “Mummy has to work right now. Can the two of you leave me alone for now?” I then shifted my focus back to my laptop, not noticing the look of disappointment on their faces. It was only later that evening when I realised that I lost out on a golden opportunity to connect with my daughters when my youngest girl told me that I was so mean to them! If I had stopped typing, looked at them and listened to what they have to share about their day, that simple act would have created a keepsake memory for them. Looking back, it would have taken me only 10 to 15 minutes. I am sure if I had asked them then to let me carry on with my work, they would have happily agreed as they were listened to and understood. They were not brushed aside. They were acknowledged and respected as individuals.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
When was the last time you were truly listened to and understood?
If you said two days ago, you are one of the very few lucky people in this world. Most people are heard but not truly listened to. The other person is often waiting for their turn to speak.
I provide a safe space for you to speak your mind, share your thoughts and explore your concerns. I will listen to you without any judgment or preconceived ideas of what you bring to our coaching session. I trust that each of my client knows exactly where he/she wants to reach at the end of each coaching session. Sometimes, all you need to gain clarity and find your “a-ha” moments is when you share what is really on your mind and in your heart to someone who does not have any other agenda apart from being there with you, holding space and being fully present, listening to you.
There is no hurry, we will get there … for you live to life your purposeful life!
Do you want to experience being truly listened to?
Book an appointment with me to find out more. I would be thrilled to hear from you!
Surprised?
What’s going through your mind as you read the heading? Are you surprised by all that is going on in your life and in the world today? Are you feeling anxious, upset, angry, fearful, helpless or all of them at varying times throughout a single day? I have been feeling all those emotions and more over the past few months in light of the Covid-19 pandemic sweeping our world today. I feel helpless at times when I think about the things that are not within my control. That’s just it. They are things that I cannot control. Why am I then allowing these things to take all my energy away from me? The simple answer is that I am human and feeling all these emotions is perfectly normal.
“Life is like the river, sometimes it sweeps you gently along and sometimes the rapids come out of nowhere.” - Emma Smith, English author
I love this photo. At the far end of it, you see the gentle flow of the river and at the edge of the photo closest to us, you start to see that the flow of the river is stronger and fiercer. You can almost hear the sound of it gushing towards possibly a waterfall further along the river.
Life’s like that, isn’t it? We have all experienced the gentle calmness and quiet contentment in our lives when all of a sudden, an event happens that shakes the tranquil flow in our lives.
Photo by Andy Holmes on Unsplash
So, what can we do to regain balance? How can we centre ourselves and not feel topsy-turvy in light of these events that are beyond our control? No one is expecting you to deny or suppress your feelings and put on a strong brave front. In times like these, we should think about putting on the type of spectacles that will work for us. The spectacles that will give us the right perspectives to view the current situation. The lenses of compassion, both in terms of self compassion and compassion for others. The glasses for seeking meaningful connections and strengthening existing relationships.
“The way we see things, the way we see the world and everything in it, determines everything else that happens.” - Todd Davis, Chief People Officer, Franklin Covey Co.
Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash
If you are feeling at a lost in terms of handling these emotions and want to work towards having the right lenses to view the state of things in the world today, I would be more than happy to support you in your quest for finding clarity and peace. If you want to formulate goals around the effective use of your time at home, please contact me now so that you do not let this opportunity slip past you! We all have it within ourselves to make this difficult time, a learning and growing experience for ourselves and for our family, friends and circles of influence! Let’s get started!